You have tried what feels like everything under the sun to reach your weight-loss goals.  Raw-food diets, fasting, Paleo and Keto. You have dabbled in low-carb diets, high-fat diets and wasted countless hours counting calories at Weight Watchers.  You have even tried the ultra low-fat diet and the Zone Diet (what even is that?). Sometimes things worked (for a short while), but at the end of the day, you gained the weight back and still felt the same emotionally and mentally to pre-dieting. Aghhh


This is not surprising.  Did you know that nearly 65% of dieters return to their pre-existing weight within 3 years.  And only 5% of diets succeed. Further, it would be doubtful and dubious to find any qualified nutritionist to advocate for a crash diet of any kind. So why do so many of us keep jumping in line for the next fad diet? Especially if they are doomed for failure in the long term?  The reason diets fail is that they focus on restriction, but as human beings we naturally seek pleasure to avoid pain. When you go on a diet, you get pain and avoid pleasure, the opposite of what we are naturally seeking. This is why weight-loss diets are unsustainable.


As an eating psychology coach, I look into what you eat as it can create cravings, overeating urges and binge eating. However, this is ony a small part of a someones journey who wants to feel “in control” with their food. The main work starts when we look into why and how you eat.   I had a client who always ate chocolate in the evenings. I said to him, ‘What is it you would like to have more of in your life?’ he said, ‘Honestly, I would just like to have a hug from my wife’. A lot of people are looking for love in food. He later said to me ‘I’ve learnt if I don’t have that love in my relationship, I’ll look for it in chocolate because it does not resent or reject me.’ Does any of this resonate for you too? 

What are you looking for in life?

To be honest, when we focus on weight-loss, most of the time we are looking for something more in our lives.   For example, when I ask women why they want to lose weight, many say so they can be attractive or happy or loved. Also, many people are craving connection because as human beings we are innately wired for this.  It’s common to hold the belief that once the weight falls off, other aspects of life fall into place. But this is not the case. If we truly deal with our root emotional needs and wants, will create natural ease with food.  Imagine that feeling?  This, in turn, cultivates food freedom and consequently more joy, connection and love; and all the things we deeply crave at a soul level.


One of the things I hear women say is ‘When I lose weight I will wear beautiful clothes’.  I say to them, ‘Do it now, go and buy a beautiful dress!’.  Or add more colour to what you are already wearing. When you are wearing beautiful clothes, your posture and the way you carry yourself changes, and you feel more confident and happier in yourself. This confidence and self-love is actually the precursor to food freedom. 


I’m never going to say you shouldn’t want to lose weight.  You are an adult and can do what you like. If you choose to focus on weight loss, then it should be for the right reasons. Further,  it needs to be sustainable and in a healthy way. If you don’t enjoy the process, you’re not going to continue with it.  For my clients, we focus on incorporating more pleasure into their lives, so they are less likely to seek this in junk food and binge eating when life gets too hard. The notion of taking time for yourself and creating fun might seem very foreign or near impossibility.  As women and as mothers, we tend to place other peoples’ needs ahead of ours. However, once we set up and implement sacred pockets of self-love into our day, we create both internal and external shifts.  

What might this self-love look like?

It might start off as just 15 minutes per day of self-time.  So, ask yourself, what brings you joy? Some examples might be, reading a book or a magazine, breathing, or some gentle stretches.  Perhaps some cardio, meditation, calling a friend, a yoga class, or a peaceful bath or a shower.  Don’t get me wrong, reading a book is not going to make you lose weight.  But this is progress towards a grander attitude shift around bringing you back to fulfilling your emotional needs, that might lessen the need to use food as your emotional bolster.   This idea of the integration of pockets of self-love is just one way to make healthy eating come naturally to you.


I am not saying don’t set goals around eating or your body. But, how we feel about ourselves now affects if we will create long-term change. We need to wholly accept where we are at, and find love and acceptance in this to make loving actions for the change we desire.   If you are unsure of where to start and have concerns around overeating read my blog “Stop Overeating And Binge Eating – 8 Tips Of Exactly Where To Start” .   


Finally, if you struggle with binge eating or overeating, I have a completely free End Binge Eating Guide you can download below.  This is based on years of experience working with clients as well as battling with my own disordered eating for over 10 years.   Further, if you need help with meal planning without falling into restrictions, this article will help, giving easy and practical tips for our busy lives.  This is exactly what I use with my clients; ‘How to prepare food without falling into the diet trap’.  If you have any questions or would like to reach out for a chat, book a call or send me an email at: [email protected]

This blog was based on my interview in NEXT Magazine, ‘The diet that takes the focus off food‘.


Regain power over food!
Binge eating and emotional eating is not a food problem, it is an emotional problem.
We can’t rely on will-power to stop binge eating. In this e-book I am addressing the underlying reasons why we use food as a drug and what our body is trying to tell us.

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