“Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.”- Rachel Hollis
We all do it! We compare our hustle, our fat rolls, our boring second hand furniture, our boring “get up at 6 am, go to work, come home and go to bed life”, our last binge eating episode to that beautiful, perfect looking girl on Instagram. A blond girl with two cute plats who is wearing the latest Louis Vuitton make up before she even opened her perfect long eye lashes, lying and stretching on a fluffy white blanket while her pink cute PJs cover just the essential parts of her body to not be able to call this pornography.
This is my reality.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t wake up that way. In fact, when I wake up, my usually mismatched top is suffocating me because, what ever I seem to be doing at night time, the top ends up like like an umbilical cord around my neck, my breath stinks, my hair looks like I just fell down the stairs and last thing I want is to have a picture taken of me. In fact, I don’t even want to speak to anyone until I had my first three sips of coffee.
I get this question a lot! “Eugenia, I feel so fat and boring when I see all those beautiful girls on social media, their husband is always so charming, their kids always wear the cutest outfits and their meals are just amazing. And my partner and I haven’t had sex for a month, my kids have always food on their face and well, I keep eating the same breakfast, lunch and dinner, because I actually just don’t have the time and energy. What can I do? ”
First of all let me tell you this:
Stop comparing your hustle to someone elses highlight reel.
Sort out your social media feed!!!
I remember the day when I decided to take control of what I feed my brain with and how I want to feel. So I went through my social media accounts and actively UNFOLLOWED everyone that made me feel anything other than: empowered, inspired, motivated and like I am the best. I decided that I no longer will expose myself to “influencers” who influence me to feel inadequate or that there is something wrong with me.
I strongly suggest to avoid following or exposing yourself to any media that makes you feel uncomfortable. This may be accounts or people that promote weight loss supplements or going to the gym 6 times a week in order to lose weight and look a certain way. What we see in the media is about 3 – 5% of how the population actually looks. It’s time to re-condition ourselves and start seeing the real world, with different bodies, shapes and sizes.
Don’t get me wrong, you still can get a fluffy blanket and PJs that cover only small parts of your bodies, but when you do it, I want you to feel freaking amazing, like a queen!
Counter condition yourself
Those who know me, know that I love learning. I mean, Growth is my Number 1 need according to Tony Robins 6 human needs test and the result didn’t surprise me. I always talk about how important it is to choose consciously what we want to read, see and listen to. So, during my social media de-clutter, I also did some research on who I could follow to start educating myself on all areas of my life that interest me.
I added Rachel Hollis, Tony Robbins, Dr Joe Dispenza, Ashley Graham. And that is only just few. And while you are adding these amazing people to your “gram”, let’s become friends too. Join me here Eugenia Nikiforow.
Our thoughts and words have power, choose carefully what you are repeating to yourself over and over again. Recondition yourself from thoughts and believes that are not even yours. “Slim is beautiful” – is not your thought. “Flat stomach is beautiful” – is not your thought. “I need to have flowers and sex three times a week” – is also not your thoughts. You have been brainwashed to believe that so that you keep coming back to buy products that promise you unreachable idealistic fairy tales or you have watched to many Twilight movies. (Don’t judge me, I love Twilight ok)
Stop comparing your life with hers!
Stop comparing your kids to hers, stop comparing your relationship with hers, stop comparing your home to hers. Comparison is the death of joy and who needs it, right?!
Maybe it is happening so automatically, that you don’t even notice it. As long as you are comparing yourself with others, you will never feel as good or equal to them. Most likely, you will either make yourself feel better by putting them down or you will feel bad because you just put them on a pedestal.
So, start noticing when you are comparing yourself to someone else, this may be a friend or someone you see on the street, acknowledge what you are doing. For example you may see person you think is very beautiful or successful or ______, instead of putting yourself down, how about you celebrate them AND YOURSELF. Say to yourself she is beautiful AND so am I. Even say it out loud if you are with someone “wow, she has a really nice bottom”. Celebrate them as well as yourself. Acknowledge that you are beautiful as well. We are equal – despite or maybe actually even because of the different shapes, sizes, colors, height etc.
You know, you really don’t need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you were yesterday.
And just to remind you of the obvious: everone’s shit stinks.
Celebrate her beauty and her success while throwing confetti over yourself at the same time. – Eugenia Nikiforow
And if you would like to have more of this type of content to spice up your day, to get inspired and motivated to be the best version of yourself, sign up for my newsletter which I send out weekly (ish).
I also have an amazing retreat coming up in May #nourish – women’s inner journey to self-love and self-care where we are going to dive deep into a discovery of who we are, what makes us unique and special, what our legacy is on this earth and how we can use that knowledge to empower ourselves to create a peaceful and loving relationship with food, our body and ourselves.